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About Bray

Dunno, mate, it’s messy, innit? Excitin’ but weird – like spillin’ tea on yer lap. *mimes hot spill* Eeeek! Gotta watch yerself, tho – coppers about, an’ I ain’t smooth. “You gotta find somethin’ you love,” says “Boyhood,” so maybe I’ll stick to teddy an’ telly next time. *shrugs, pratfalls into imaginary bin* Bin-go! What a plonker.

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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s like, “What the hell?” We all spill out onto the street, and it’s chaos. I’m standin’ there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “This is Finglas for ya.” Turns out, it was just a burnt toast incident in the kitchen. Classic pub life, right?

Death Notice of Andrew Daly (Finglas, Dublin)