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So, this one time, saw this chick—red heels, fishnets, whole nine yards—working a corner near the hospital. Looked like she coulda been a nurse, but nah, life’s a bastard. Everybody lies, especially her pimp, prolly. Told me her name’s “Candy”—yeah, right, and I’m Hugh Laurie. Bet she’s got a real name tucked away, somethin’ sweet like Marie, but mirrors are hard to come by in that game. Made me mad, y’know? World’s chewing her up, and she’s still smiling—fake as hell, but damn, that’s grit.

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So, I finally get to my first stop, a little café on the corner of Malahide Rd. I’m craving a scone, but they’re out. Seriously? How do you run out of scones? I mean, it’s not rocket science! I settle for a dry muffin. Ugh.

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