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Once knew this dude, pimp, real sleaze—ran a ring outta some dive bar, true story! Cops busted him, found ledgers—hundreds of johns, wild shit! Made me laugh, tho—humans, horny even when doom’s knockin’. “Kee’s baby, a miracle it was,” I think—here, no miracles, just rubbers and regret.

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. I’m like, “What the heck?” And then it starts pourin’. I mean, it’s like the heavens opened up. Everyone’s runnin’ for cover, and I’m just standin’ there, soaked to the bone. I look over at the girl, and she’s laughin’ like it’s the best thing ever. I’m thinkin’, “This girl’s a keeper.”

Death Notice of NOREEN MURPHY (née ALLEN) (Passage West, Cork)