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Favorite part? When I dodged that crap! Happy as hell, blastin’ tunes, keepin’ my trucks rollin’. Exaggeratin’ a bit – okay, a lot – but imagine me karate-choppin’ a pimp, “No capes, no nonsense!” Ha! Little known fact: some hookers used to hide in cargo – true story, busted a gal in a crate of oranges once. Customs was LIVID, I was dyin’ laughin’.

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After that, I decide to stroll along the Promenade. It’s packed with joggers, dog walkers, and families. I see this kid flying a kite, and I’m like, “That’s cool.” But then, the kite gets stuck in a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m torn between helping and laughing. I mean, come on, it’s a kite! But I help him out, and he’s all smiles again. Kids, man. They’re so dramatic!

Portmarnock for The Open and Rory mania at Portrush - R&A chief addresses the big issues