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About Cork

I’m dodgin’ coppers, too—can’t have M bollockin’ me for this. Little fact: in Amsterdam, it’s all legal, red lights glowin’ like a bleedin’ Christmas tree. Here? It’s a gamble, mate. I’m thinkin’, *Christ, imagine if Q rigged me a prossie-finder gadget*. I’d be sorted! Anyway, this one bird, she’s whisperin’ sweet nothins’, and I’m half tempted to take her back to the Aston Martin—classy, yeah? “Let go of attachment,” the film says, but sod that—I’m attached already!

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So, I grab my coffee and head down to the beach. Portmarnock Beach is stunning, man. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all poetic. I sit on the sand, sipping my coffee, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my cup! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not sharing!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, like, “You think you can scare me?”

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