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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.
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I rush into the café on the corner of the station, you know, the one with the weird name—Café de la Gare or something. I order my usual, a flat white, and the barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But she’s super apologetic, and I’m trying to be nice, so I just laugh it off.
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