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About Dundalk

Whores, right? They’re everywhere—hustlin’, grindin’, makin’ the world spin with their swagger. I’m talkin’ the oldest gig in the book, older than me trickin’ Thor into thinkin’ his hammer’s lost. Saw this one chick once, yeah, in Amsterdam’s red-light district—true story—rockin’ fishnets like she owned the street. She did! Had this vibe, like, “I’m not here to please you, you’re here to pay me.” Respect. Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—y’know, my fave flick—where Winfried pulls that bonkers wig stunt. “Life’s just a big performance,” he’d say, and whores? They’re the damn directors.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Sean bursts in. He’s all flustered, talkin’ about some “emergency” at the pub down the road. Apparently, the Guinness tap broke. I’m like, “Seriously? That’s the crisis of the day?” But Sean’s face is all serious, so I know it’s a big deal. I’m thinkin’, “What’s next? A cat stuck in a tree?”

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