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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?
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Then, just as I’m getting into the groove, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Sean. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he got locked outta his house on Emmet Street. Classic Sean. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my stuff.
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