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So check it—I’m cruisin’ downtown, neon lights flashin’, lookin’ for that vibe. Ain’t no Yelp for this, nah, you feel me? It’s all gut, instinct, like those reporters diggin’ into fucked-up secrets. I spot this chick, right? Heels high as hell, skirt short, givin’ me that *look*. I’m like, “Motherfucker, this it?” Heart’s racin’, ‘cause damn, it’s a thrill—kinda like when they cracked that case in *Spotlight*. “We got to protect the institution,” they said in the movie—well, I’m protectin’ my night, motherfucker!

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I get home, soaked but happy. I start working on the order, and it’s going great. I’m in the zone, and then—BAM! My computer crashes. Are you kidding me? I’m about to lose everything! I’m freaking out, but I manage to reboot it. Thank the tech gods!

BIG PICTURE SPECIAL: Out and about on the town in Tullamore last weekend