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About Tel Aviv

Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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But then, like, 30 minutes later, I spot this dude on a jet ski zooming way too close to the swimmers. I’m like, “Bro, chill! This ain’t a race track!” So, I blow my whistle, and he just gives me this look like I’m the one in the wrong. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna get someone hurt!”

Beitar Nordia Jerusalem vs FC Ashdod - live score, predicted lineups and H2H stats