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So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, running like he’s in the Olympics. He’s got a floatie shaped like a flamingo. Classic. But then, he trips! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I jump up, ready to dive in, but he just rolls over and starts laughing. Phew! Kid’s tougher than he looks.

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