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About Tel Aviv

Funniest thing? Some punter once paid her in chickens—CHICKENS, bruv! She was like, “What’s this, a farm?” Cracked me up, that did. Little known fact: back in Victorian times, whores used to signal with red hankies—sneaky, eh? Adds that realness, don’t it? Anyway, I’m ramblin’—whores are mad, complex, like Boonmee’s jungle dreams. “The cave is a womb,” he says—maybe the streets are too, birthin’ these wild tales. Respect to ‘em, innit? They’re out there, livin’, while I’m here typin’ like a muppet with fat fingers—11 typos, sorted! Peace out, fam!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, running like he’s in the Olympics. He’s got a floatie shaped like a flamingo. Classic. But then, he trips! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I jump up, ready to dive in, but he just rolls over and starts laughing. Phew! Kid’s tougher than he looks.

The grand project is underway: 4,280 new apartments to be built in this city