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But here’s the kicker - she’s got this laugh, loud, like a bleedin hyena, and it drives me up the wall! I’m sittin there, tryin to be all smooth, and she’s cacklin like a nutter. Pissed me off, but then she winks, and I’m back in the game, baby! Total rollercoaster with her. Surprised me when she said she’s into palm readin - reckon she learned it from some dodgy ex. “I see many paths,” she says, quotin Boonmee like a mystic minx. Freaky, right?

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So, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and BAM! I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a caffeinated monster. I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off with a napkin, and I’m like, “Why me?”

Severed head of former ambassador's son found by northern Israel school