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About Tel Aviv

I’m happy though, ‘cause I caught ‘em lyin’. Claims they got “no incidents”? Bullcrap! Found a report—some john got bit by that damn snake last year! Didn’t report it, those cheapskates. I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you sons of bitches!” They’re gonna pay out the ass now. Oh, and get this—rumor is, this brothel’s haunted by some hooker who offed herself in the ‘50s. Adds that *Melancholia* vibe, y’know? “There’s nothing to mourn here,” I mutter, kickin’ a chair.

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Next up, this dude gets in. He’s got a pizza box. A whole pizza! I’m like, “Bro, you can’t eat in here.” But he’s like, “Chill, it’s just a slice.” So, I’m stuck smelling pepperoni all the way to the 5th floor. I’m drooling, but also mad. Like, who eats pizza in an elevator?

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