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About Petah Tikva

Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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After that, it’s a parade of people. Old folks, kids, business types. You name it, they came. I swear, I saw a kid with a balloon on HaYarden Street. He looked so happy, but then—pop! The balloon bursts. Kid starts crying like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a balloon!” But I get it. I mean, I’ve had my share of balloon moments, ya know?

5 reservists killed during fighting with Hezbollah in Lebanon last night, IDF announces