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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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While I’m waiting, I decide to grab a coffee from that little café on HaRav Kook Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I’m feeling fancy. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” I mean, I get it, accidents happen, but come on! I need that caffeine fix!