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About Beersheba

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially whores. So, this one time, talkin’ bout whores, right? Reminds me of *The Pianist*—Polanski’s flick, my fave. That scene where Szpilman’s hidin’, starvin’, playin’ air piano like a ghost? Whores got that vibe—hollow, desperate, sellin’ soul for scraps. “I hate everything,” I mutter, watchin’ ‘em strut. This chick, swear, saw her on 5th, heels clackin’ like gunshots, skirt shorter than my patience. Made me mad—why? ‘Cause she’s out there, freezin’, while I’m eatin’ bacon in peace. Ain’t fair, but who cares?

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So, I head to my workshop on Ha’Golan Street. It’s a cozy spot, filled with wood shavings and the smell of fresh oak. I’m all set to start my day, but then I realize I forgot my tools. Classic me, right? I sprint back home, dodging kids on bikes and old folks walking their dogs. I swear, if I had a shekel for every time I almost tripped over a dog, I’d be rich.

Volume 135 Year 2023 Migdal Ha-‘Emeq