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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!
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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I grab lunch at my fave spot on Makkabbim Street. The falafel there is to die for! But then, I overhear this lady talking about her parrot. Apparently, it learned some swear words. I’m like, “Wow, that’s a talent!” But then she says it’s been cursing at her kids. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, who knew parrots could be such little troublemakers?
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