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So, like, I tried it once, and I was shooketh! This masseuse—probs a secret gamer IRL—had hands like a freakin’ controller, so smooth, so precise. I’m laying there, all glam, thinking, “This is my empire, my rules!” Kinda like that line from Timbuktu, “The law bends for no one,” but, like, flipped—my body was bending, lol! The oil? Smelled like heaven, probs some ancient recipe from, idk, Morocco or whatevs. Fun fact—did u know erotic-massage goes back to, like, ancient China? They called it “tuina” or some shiz, but it was all about energy flow and sneaky pleasure. Wild, right?

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After a long, emotional hour, we stabilize the dog. I’m exhausted but relieved. I step outside, and the sun is setting over the hills. It’s beautiful. I take a moment to breathe. This city, with its crazy streets and even crazier people, it’s home. I love it, even on days like this.

What is the Israel population 2023?