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About Tel Aviv

Me, I’m torn—part of me’s like, “Live ya life, get that bread!” Other part’s screamin’, “This ain’t right, fam!” Probs why I love WALL-E—dude’s all heart, no bullshit. Brothel’s a grind, tho—girls workin’ nonstop, clients actin’ wild. One time, heard some dude tried payin’ with a goat. A GOAT! I’m screamin’—what is this, medieval Craigslist?

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On my way home, I pass by the market on Rechov HaYarden. It’s packed! People everywhere, yelling about prices. I’m just trying to get through, and this guy bumps into me. I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” He just shrugs. Rude, right?

Top cop placates Haredi extremists: You know we don’t check in the synagogues