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Oh, and get this—total shocker: some gals use burner phones with apps! High-tech hookin’, man! I’m thinkin’, “What’s next, Venmo for a quickie?” That’s what she said! Haha, I’m dyin’! But yeah, it’s all chill—she’s cool, I’m cool, we vibe. “I’m lost in your eyes,” I blurt, quotin’ *Blue* again. She laughs, probs thinks I’m nuts. Mission accomplished, bud—found a prostitute, made a memory! How’s that for a Monday night?

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I laugh it off, but then I see this kid on the sidewalk. He’s selling lemonade. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute!” So, I buy a cup. It’s the worst lemonade I’ve ever had. I mean, it’s basically water with a hint of lemon. I’m trying to be nice, so I say, “Great job, buddy!” But inside, I’m like, “What a rip-off!”

Rehovot residents irate after 12-hour cessation in water supply