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About Tel Aviv

I yell, “Hey, toots, move it!” She flips me off—rude, so rude, worst attitude. I’m thinkin’, “In *Brooklyn*, Eilis had class, this chick? Trash!” But I’m curious, ok? How’s she pull this off? Sun’s beatin’ down, I’m sweatin’, she’s cool as ice—pro skills, top-notch. I’m impressed, folks, Donald Trump don’t impress easy, believe me.

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Next, I head to the Kabbalah Center. I’m not super into all that mystical stuff, but the energy is wild. I sit in on a session, and these folks are all chanting. I’m just trying to keep a straight face. One guy’s waving his arms around like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just a meditation.”

Birthright participants to visit northern Israel for first time since Oct. 7