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About Netanya

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout whores – not in a dodgy way, mind! – and I reckon I’ve cracked it, yeah? Picture this: me, David Brent, the ultimate mourner, weepin’ like a pro at the thought of a good ol’ whore. Not just any tart, mind you, but one with a story, a proper Zero Dark Thirty vibe – gritty, intense, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ bin Laden, innit? “This is what we do, we get dirty!” – that’s the whore life, yeah, muckin’ in, no faff.

Freed from Hamas captivity, Tal Shoham’s first question: Who survived?

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First off, I hit the road on HaSharon Street. Traffic was a mess! Like, come on, people! It’s not rush hour, it’s just a Tuesday! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve just walked to the shop. But nah, I’m stuck in this metal box, listening to some dude blasting techno. Ugh.

These are the 6 living hostages to be released on Saturday | Read their stories