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Hallo, my friend! So, listen up, ja? I’m Arnold, your big Austrian actuary, and I’m gonna tell ya about erotic-massage – it’s gonna blow your mind, like *Inception*! Ya know, “a dream within a dream,” but with hands all ova ya! I’m pumped, let’s dive in – I’ll be back with more, trust me!

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I start cuttin’ wood, and outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” It’s flappin’ around, and I’m tryin’ to work. I swear, it’s like Yanuah-Jat’s wildlife has it out for me today. I finally shoo it away, and it poops on my tool belt. Just my luck!