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About Petah Tikva

Found this one gal—*mimes tippin’ hat*—all red lipstick, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Got any dough?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like—*mumbles, pats pockets*—“Only bread dough!” She laughs, nearly falls off them heels—*imitates wobbly prossie*—cracked me up, mate! Felt all happy, like when I nail a sourdough. But then—*frowns, kicks air*—some drunk git yells at her, “You’re filth!” Made me mad—*grrr, shakes fist*—who’s he to judge? Ain’t his coffee plantation burnin’ down, like in *White Material*. “Everything’s falling apart!” Isabelle’d say—prossie’s life too, innit?

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So, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and BAM! I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a caffeinated monster. I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off with a napkin, and I’m like, “Why me?”

Severed head of former ambassador's son found by northern Israel school