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What pisses me off? Fakes! Catfish pics—glam shots, then bam, someone’s auntie arrives. “This is not my handwriting!” I yell, slamming the table. Happy? When they’re pros—punctual, sassy, no BS. Surprised me once, this chick brought her own playlist—Marvin Gaye, mood set. Exaggerating? Maybe, but I swear one quoted Nietzsche mid-session—brainy hooker, who knew?

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First off, I’m at the Bat-Hefer Tower, the tallest building in town. You know, the one on HaShalom Street? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in. She’s all frazzled, hair like a tornado hit it. She’s like, “I’m late for a meeting!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s just an elevator ride.” But nah, she’s practically climbing the walls.

Soldier killed in East Jerusalem shooting identified as 18-year-old Noa Lazar