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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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Sexual massage Czech, Golden Shower (give) for extra charge, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Kissing if good chemistry, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

After that, it’s a parade of people. Old folks, kids, business types. You name it, they came. I swear, I saw a kid with a balloon on HaYarden Street. He looked so happy, but then—pop! The balloon bursts. Kid starts crying like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a balloon!” But I get it. I mean, I’ve had my share of balloon moments, ya know?

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