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About Rishon LeZion

Findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, dude. Ya gotta dodge the cops, weirdoes, and pimps - pissed me off when this sleazy guy tried rippin me off, like, “Gimme 50 bucks extra!” Nah, man, I ain’t that dumb! Got me ragin, but then - jackpot! This gal, all sassy, winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello there!” Happiest damn moment, swear it. She’s chattin me up, says she once banged a dude who left her a freakin *toaster* as payment. A toaster! Who does that? Cracked me up, legit story tho - heard it from another john later.

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Then, I get a call about a dispute on HaMaccabim. Some folks are arguing over a parking spot. Seriously? In Qiryat-Tiv-on? I rush over, and it’s like a scene from a sitcom. Two guys, both red-faced, shoutin’ at each other. I step in, tryin’ to play peacemaker. “Guys, it’s just a parking spot!” But they’re not havin’ it. I’m thinkin’, “This is what my life has come to?”

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