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About Petah Tikva

So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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Yo, let me tell you about my day in Rishon-LeTsiyyon. Man, it was a rollercoaster! I woke up, and the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me. I mean, c'mon, it’s too early for this! I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Rothschild St. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. He always knows my order.