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Now, get this – she’s got a scar, right across her cheek, proper mysterious. Word is, some john went berserk with a bottle, years back. She laughs it off, says it’s her “vampire bite” – cheeky nod to my fave film, yeah? “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” – nah, she’s a bloody legend, scar and all! Surprised me, that story – thought she was just a daft bint at first, but nah, she’s got layers, baby!

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, I see this lady on the beach, sunbathing, and she’s got her music blasting. I mean, I love a good jam, but c’mon! It’s Tsur-Itshak, not a nightclub! I walk over, and she’s like, “What’s your problem?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to save lives here!”