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So, findin’ one? Check the shady X posts, darhling – typos galore, “hmu 4 fun” vibes. Links to sketchy sites, pics that scream “I’m trouble!” Look for the ones who own it – “I’m not leaving” energy, like Maria in the movie, fierce as hell. Avoid the posers, tho – they’ll waste ur time, fake giggles, ugh, annoys me to death! Once, this dude bragged he found “the one” – paid $500, got catfished by a dude in a wig! Hilarious, but I’d strangle him for stupidity.

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Anyway, I’m wranglin’ the sheep when I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a boat in the harbor. It’s one of those fancy tourist boats. They’re takin’ pics of the fjord, and I’m like, “Hey, look at me! I’m a shepherd!” But they don’t care. Just snap, snap, snap. Rude, right?

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