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About Arbaer

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Anyway, I’m wranglin’ the sheep when I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a boat in the harbor. It’s one of those fancy tourist boats. They’re takin’ pics of the fjord, and I’m like, “Hey, look at me! I’m a shepherd!” But they don’t care. Just snap, snap, snap. Rude, right?

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