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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches a kid’s sandwich right outta his hand! I’m dying laughing, but the kid? Not so much. He starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a sandwich!” But I get it, I really do. I mean, who wants their lunch stolen by a bird?

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