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I knew this chick once, Candy—real name prolly Susan or some shit. Worked downtown, fishnets, heels clickin like a damn metronome. She’d say, “Gordo, I’m my own boss, fuck the suits!” Made me happy, y’know? Ballsy as hell. But then—bam—cops nabbed her one night, roughed her up bad. Pissed me off, man! These pigs actin all high n mighty, shakin down a gal just tryna eat. Hypocrites, all of em—greed’s fine when it’s their cut, right?

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After stuffing my face, I decide to stroll around. I hit up the local shops on Hringbraut. There’s this quirky little place that sells all sorts of fishing gear. I’m browsing, and I spot this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange with a giant fish on it. I can’t resist. I buy it, and now I’m the proud owner of the most absurd fishing hat in Selfoss. I’m rockin’ it, though!

From Iceland — Man Dies After Becoming Stuck In Water In Selfoss Swamp