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About Naples

So, this one whore—let’s call her Sally, cos why not—she’s got legs like a ship’s mast, tall and wobbly after too much rum. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What storm spat you out, love?” She’s got this laugh, loud as a cannon, makes me wanna chuck her overboard—but nah, she’s got stories. Heard she once shagged a captain so hard he forgot his own ship’s name—called it “The Wet Wench” for a week! Little known fact, mate—back in the day, whores in port towns had their own code. Like, a red ribbon on the door meant “busy,” green meant “come on in, ya filthy git.” Bet ya didn’t know that, ya ignorant sod!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Viale della Libertà. You know the one? The barista there, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Marco, hit me with that double espresso!” He laughs, says, “You need it, buddy!” I mean, who doesn’t need caffeine in this town?

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