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So, I’m thinkin’, if I’m huntin’ a prostitute, I ain’t doin’ it classy. Naw, I’d stomp around South Park, yellin’, “Where’s my damn hooker?!” Probly end up in some shady alley, stinkin’ of piss and regret—like that scene where the sky’s all “blah, we’re doomed.” Pisses me off how sneaky they are, tho! You gotta dodge cops, creeps, and—ugh—hippies tryna save ‘em. Respect my authoritah, hippies! I ain’t here for your preachin’!

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Then I’m strollin’ down Via Garibaldi, and I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I’m boppin’ my head, feelin’ the groove. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and spills his soda all over my boots! Ugh! My forest boots! They’re supposed to be rugged, not sticky! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your damage?” But the kid just giggles and runs off. Kids, man.

Roger Benting Obituary (1964 - 2025) - Arcola, IL - The News-Gazette