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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!
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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Caffè Centrale. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, Marco, he’s having a rough day. He spills milk everywhere. I’m talking a mini milk tsunami. I’m laughing, but he’s all flustered. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just milk! Chill!” He finally cracks a smile, and I’m like, “See? All good!”
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