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Game’s got this retro beat, real funky-like, makes ya wanna shake it. But—bloody hell—it’s glitchy as shite! I’m runnin’ round, tryna chat up this bird, and the screen freezes. Pissed me off, man, I was yellin’ at my telly, “Work, ya tosser!” Took me back to *Oldboy* when he’s bashin’ heads—felt like smashin’ my controller, yeah baby!

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I lock up the shop and we head to the piazza. It’s packed! People everywhere, music blaring, and the smell of fried dough fills the air. I’m in heaven. I grab a slice of pizza from that little stand on Via Cavour. Best pizza in town, no contest. I’m munching away, and then I see it. A guy juggling knives. Like, seriously? Who thought that was a good idea? I’m half impressed, half terrified.

The little-known Italian cave church of St. Michael