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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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Next up is a lady named Carla. She’s got this wild hair, like a lion. I’m tryin’ to tame it, but it’s like wrestlin’ a greased pig. She’s tellin’ me about her cat, Gigi, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, your cat’s got issues.” But I’m laughin’ and she’s laughin’, and for a moment, Calcinate feels like a sitcom.

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