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Oi mate, so ‘ere I am, Mr. Bean, y’know, stumblin’ thru life, and I’m s’posed to chat about this “whore” thing as a financial analyst—hah! Whips out me calculator, drops it, oops! Right, so I reckon you mean “HODL” not “whore,” yeah? Crypto slang, innit—holdin’ them coins tight like Kee clutchin’ that baby in *Children of Men*! “This is our chance, Theo!”—but with Bitcoin, not dystopia, heh!

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But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Like, who even leaves a puddle there? I’m soaked. My shoes are ruined. I’m fuming. I mean, come on, Calolziocorte, get it together! I’m hopping on one foot, trying to shake it off, and this old lady walks by. She just laughs at me. I can’t even be mad. She’s got that classic Italian charm, you know?

Italian pizza maker killed in Marseille during a robbery - L'Unione Sarda English