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I’d design this joint like a level, okay? You roll up – V8 engine growlin’ – and the madam’s this tatted-up warlord chick screamin’, “What a day! What a lovely day!” She’s slingin’ deals, half her face melted from some wasteland brawl – real shit. Little-known fact? Old-school brothels used to hide tunnels – smugglers, priests, horny-ass politicians slippin’ through. This one’s got that, too – trapdoors under the beds, leadin’ to a still makin’ rotgut whiskey. Sneaky, dirty, PERFECT.

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Finally, I get to the office on Via Garibaldi. My desk is a mess—papers everywhere, like a tornado hit it. I’m trying to find my notes for the morning briefing, and all I can think is, “Why do I even bother?” But then, boom! My phone buzzes. Stocks are up! I’m like, “Yes! Let’s go!”

Giro di Lombardia is coming to SBS