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But real talk – it ain’t all laughs. Shocks me how these girls get treated, yeah? Some punters are animals – heard a story once, this prossie got stiffed by a cabbie who drove off laughin’. Fuckin’ liberty, that is! Makes me wanna cry, then punch summat. But when it’s good, it’s proper good – she’s crackin’ jokes, callin’ me “darlin’,” and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I do it, innit!”

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m there, ready to check on this ancient olive tree. You know, the one that’s older than my grandma? Yeah, that one. I get there, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playing soccer under it. Like, c’mon! I’m here to save trees, not dodge soccer balls! I’m like, “Hey, kiddos, can you not?” They just laugh and keep kicking. Ugh, kids these days!

Irene A. Capurso,, 91