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About Catania

What pisses me off? The fakers. Some chick’ll promise ya the moon, then bam—takes yer cash and ghosts. Happened to my buddy Sasha once—he’s still cryin’ about it. Me? I’m smarter, I scope ‘em out. Look for the ones who ain’t twitchin’ like they’re on somethin’. Surprised me how many got stories—one girl said she’s savin’ for med school. Med school! I’m like, “Good for you, kid,” but also, “Don’t bullshit me.”

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So, I’m juggling stocks and accordions, and my phone buzzes. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “Get on this call!” I’m like, “Sure, boss, no problem!” But I’m already sweating bullets. I pick up, and it’s a client freaking out about his portfolio. I’m tryin’ to calm him down, but he’s like a bull in a china shop. “I’m losing money! I’m losing money!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a dip!” But he’s not having it.

Tim Merlier sprints to victory in stage 6 of Tirreno-Adriatico