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About Catania

So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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So, I start my spiel, right? “Ladies and gents, welcome to the Ceggia auction!” I’m all pumped, but then I see this dude in the back. He’s got this ridiculous hat on. Like, who wears a fedora in 2023? I can’t help but crack a joke. “Hey buddy, is that hat for sale too?” The crowd laughs, and I’m feelin’ good.

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