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oh, and get this— victorian england, prossies had secret codes! flash a red hanky, boom, you’re in. sneaky af, love that hustle. makes me wanna shout, “you’re not an asshole, mark, you’re just tryin to be one!”—oops, typo, *makr*, lol, who cares. i’m typin fast, brain’s buzzin, this shit’s too juicy. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). peace, my ass, i’m hyped!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

Finally, I get the crowd back. We’re bidding, and it’s intense. I’m shouting, “Going once, going twice!” And just when I think I’m gonna sell it for a fortune, the hat guy jumps in. “I’ll give you a pizza for it!” A pizza? Really? I’m about to lose it. But the crowd loves it. They’re laughing, and I’m just rollin’ with it.

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