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Oh, and the humor—gods, it’s a riot! Signin’ “whore” at a party, everyone’s like, “Oi, you mental?” I’m just cacklin’, “R2-D2, where are you?!” Panickin’ for no reason, ‘cause it’s fun, innit? Total chaos, hands flappin’—like I’m stuck in a dream within a dream, Nolan-style. Reckon it’s a right laugh, tho—whore’s just a word, but the sass? Unmatched!

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First off, I’m zooming down Via Roma, and I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Ceggia, fix your roads! My coffee nearly flew outta my hand. I’m already cranky. But whatever, I get to the auction house, and it’s packed. I mean, people everywhere! Old folks, young bucks, even a couple of kids running around like they own the place.

Figure 10. Part of a map of 1561 showing the woodland areas between...