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So, how’s it work? You find ‘em, haggle a bit - cash upfront, no faff. Dunno why, but I’d be rubbish at it - too much wafflin’, they’d scarper! “The world’s a mess, darling,” I’d say, quotin’ the film, and off they’d go. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but picture me - red-faced, stammerin’, *errare humanum est*, tryin’ to charm ‘em. Total disaster, ha! Anyway, mate, that’s the gist - sleazy, sad, funny, all at once. Life, eh? Just like Kaufman’s bloody movie - a right glorious mess!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my sister. “Hey, I’m in Cerese! Let’s meet!” I’m like, “What?!” She’s in town, and I had no clue. I’m torn. Work or family?

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