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About Naples

You gotta watch out, tho—cops stingin’, fakes everywhere, it’s a jungle. Pro tip: check reviews, yeah, like Yelp for sex, ha! Who knew? I’m over here gigglin’ thinkin’ bout WALL-E reviewin’ tail—“EVE-rything’s awesome!”

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Then I stroll down to the beach. Oh man, the view! The waves crashin’ on the shore, the sun glistening off the water. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude’s like the king of the beach. He swoops down, snatches a sandwich right outta some kid’s hand! I’m talkin’ full-on heist mode. The kid’s cryin’, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Like, that’s nature, baby!

John Ceriale