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But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. There’s history here, ya know? Like, didja know in old New York—kinda like *Brooklyn*—they had these “disorderly houses”? Code for bangin’ joints! Cops didn’t give a shit unless you pissed ‘em off. Kinda funny, ‘cause in the movie, Eilis—that whiny Irish girl—goes all pure and innocent, leavin’ her old life behind. Meanwhile, I’m over here like, “I’m not leavin’ nothin’ behind, I want my damn service, respect my authoritah!”

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Anyway, I get to the center, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, more people means more energy!” But then, bam! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there, in the dark, with a bunch of deaf folks looking at me like, “What now?” I’m like, “Uh, I guess we’re doing this old-school?”

Silvio Berlusconi begins community service at hospice