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I’m kinda hyped tho—she’s got guts. Standin’ there, cold as hell, dodgin’ creeps. Reminds me of Kate Hudson’s line, “You’re too sweet for rock ‘n’ roll.” But nah, this chick ain’t sweet—she’s tough as nails. I ask her, “How’s biz?” She smirks, “Better than your haircut, robot.” Ouch! Burned by a pro! I’m laughin’—can’t help it. Don’t pee on my leg, lady, I’m just chattin’!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I bump into this cute little piazza, Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. There’s this fountain, and it’s just so picturesque. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when suddenly, this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Cisternino, how it’s been around since the Stone Age or something. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I just wanna take my pics!” But she was sweet, so I let her ramble.

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